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July 28th, 2010

04:34 pm: finally!
finals are over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now i can continue working on some skirts, and working out, and taking my dogs out on walks, and everything else i couldn't do while in school.

hopefully i can have fun while i still can before the next semester starts. which is only in a few weeks.

i finally have a new mouse. i can't wait to get a new computer and a new car and my ipod repaired. all of the technology that i'm using now is so outdated. my comp and ipod are 5 years old now. and my car even older than that (299,900 miles on it!)

i'm just so glad i got As in both my classes this semester! woot go smart kristine!

Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic

July 21st, 2010

09:51 am: ugh finals week..
cram time. 3:

Current Mood: busy

July 12th, 2010

11:28 pm: people keep telling me i look like my mom. i don't look like my mom! i'm prettier :3

i also find that i can't sleep on late nights such as these especially when i have school every day mon thru thurs. its taking a toll on my physical state and i get sleepy eyes!

ugh. school school school. its a love hate with you.

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: Herbie Hancock - Watermelon Man
04:19 pm: i am so pooped! i had no idea that summer semester at college would be so busy. and intense. i can physically feel so much weight on my body. but i am so glad i have 257 out of 260 total points possible on my geography grade. yay i may actually finish with an A+ in my class!!?! how long has it been since the last A ive gotten. not counting the year and a half i spent on break from school. what a regret.

i wish i had more time to do things this summer. i have a research paper that i have to present on due in two weeks. i'm scared.

other than that, i wannna play mario galaxy 2!

Current Mood: tiredtired

March 25th, 2010

01:34 pm: stupid paper for poli sci. i loathe you! and i really don't want to make you!

but i will.. *grumble*

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed

February 14th, 2010

09:36 pm: yay! new hairstyle. new userpic. lol finally!

Current Mood: okayokay

February 12th, 2010

11:47 am: weird things
i realized how much time i actually spent with my ex. i paid attention to nothing else. it kind of makes u feel worthless in the end bc it was an effort and you put your all into it and became open, then you get hurt.

now that he's not around anymore, i lost my friends, which means that i lost my life. i basically hung out with them every day. i went on camping trips, parties, get togethers, etc. everything. and now i have nothing at all. it really does suck losing your best friend and i had it happen to me multiple times in the past. this time really hurt because i didn't want to lose them. but something just didn't feel right.

i cant regret the decision i made when i told him i wanted to break up with him. because i know there were so many problems. if we ever went into it again, it would just be the same thing over again.

also i'm pretty pissed off because he's moved on already, talking to all these other girls and doesn't even have a care in the world about me. its like he never cared at all.

whats wrong with me. every time i get into some kind of relationship/friendship, i'm always the one getting hurt.

Current Mood: coldcold

December 16th, 2009

06:56 pm: well. i'm glad i got over that bump. things are working out again with the boyfriend and my mom was right, i was never going to be happy freaking out about stupid things. at least i didn't have to feel ridiculous again. except for the fact that i was the one acting like a crazy gf.

in other news, i'm actually a bit sad about not having any xmas decorations this year. but it also feels like its come up so fast. its only a week away! and by the amount of traffic that's been building up this week with delivery trucks and hundreds of people shopping, it's too stressful to go out and buy anything. unless you're an early waker and get to the stores right as it opens.

i guess its fine with me cause i'm broke, and my mom would rather spend money on more important things, like my dental and classes, and the house. and so forth. i hope next year is a better year. cause 2008-2009 was a ridiculous horrifying ride. so much happened from breakups to my mom getting cancer, to being involved with motor accidents. it was crazy. i just hope things are smooth sailing and will pay off with the work that's been provided.

happy holidays everyone. :D

Current Mood: busy

October 13th, 2009

09:51 pm: i feel weird..
has it really been that long? its like every time me and franco get back together, i miss out on writing out the good things.

but today is different. i feel differently just about myself and no one else.

strangely i felt really depressed today. it could be the weather, but that effect really bothers me. like it doesn't seem like a sound conclusion.

i hate how the computer fan is louder than my music.

IRRITATED. so that's how i'm feeling.. and why is that? i just don't understand...

i feel so alone. so different. so inferior. that inferiority must be bothering me. to the point where i want to cry. its a distant but familiar feeling.

i almost feel a little broken. my knees are shot. my feet feel gooey. my hearts a little lost. and i'm not sure of how i feel anymore.

to be honest, i just don't know if i feel love either. not that i don't love franco. he means alot to me. but why is it that i feel like i cannot give that.. because i don't love myself?

it could be the case. but i would never love myself if all i am is going to be alone.

the lonely road is the only road i've ever had to take and it was brutal. i don't feel at all accomplished or happy. just tired.

my heart isn't open this time around. i'm not sure why. but i feel you roxas. you minded your own and didn't want to get involved. and now that you have, you found meaning in your life. you found friends.

why is it.. that i feel like i have no true friend? i know i have franco, but he's still so far away, and it feels like we have separate lives. like i'm not completely his. and he's not completely mine?

i feel very confused. why should my emotions be this way? when i know that i've done nothing wrong. or even less, nothing at all.

why is it that i don't feel like i fit in francos life anymore? neither do i feel the same happy way i was so long ago. like somehow, that part of me has been long gone and all that confidence was broken. i still feel so broken. cause i will always remember what broke me. and to think about it now, i think it still hurts me. but because i have never really felt direct pain before, i never knew how to deal with it, so it lingers in my irritation.

i still feel so very alone.. and i wonder why.

oh, i also had my first day of work today, but when i left i felt so sad... and somehow i almost didn't really want to work there anymore. it just didn't seem to fit me anymore.

i feel like my life has been led differently than i wanted it to. i wanted to be happy, and loving life, and in a better university, loving myself, and knowing what i want to do with my life. at least exploring it.

and instead, i'm stuck at home. stuck going to community college. stuck with a shitty job with having to smile for other people and be inferior.

i feel like i'm in that lonely shell again i was in high school. empty and ignoring other people.

Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Silversun Pickups - All the go Inbetweens

October 6th, 2009

08:10 pm: i have to leave the fan on at night to help me sleep. :/
it reminds me of sleeping near him when i can't be there. he lives 45 mins away and i cant ever see him everyday until we move in together.

its times like these were i wish the economy was doing better. it's like a mild sedative on the american people that just drains us all away and we can't continue our lives like this. i know friends who have decent jobs, or none at all, and they're BOTH too broke to go out and do anything with me. 20 bucks is starting to seem like getting alot less for what its worth.

ugh, i just really hope i can get a job. a steady stable career/job. i was hoping for that culinary business. but now that things are looking DOWN the effing drain, i might have to settle for some kind of medical job. which my mom has been wanting me to do. but i have never had an interest in it.

so sad.

i'm getting by with watching my arashi videos. another season of dexter. and maybe soon, heroes. what tv shows are good nowadays? i remember watching the first episode of lost and i couldn't even follow. lol. but i love abrahms works. alias was the number one show i loved. and before that, roswell. maybe 24.

and the place where i usually dl my DS games doesn't work anymore T_T anyone know where i can dl some ds games. ESP that new kingdom hearts game... ugggh!

i'm just glad that me and my ex got back together. i'm still on guard. but i'm happy that he's starting to change and that he really wants me. and to share his life with me. its the only thing pulling me through this shitty economy. sigh.

Current Location: Rancho
Current Mood: awake
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